想起了前阵子跟朋友说的话。

我唯独知道的就是当时的我很气，很不高兴。

为了什么？到今天我还是没有一个答案。

但我想，就是为了这个 “气”，我终于知道你的心底话。

也听到了我最不想听到的答案。

很多时候，我们都认为自己是最好的，没注意到自己的缺点。

也同时忘了一件事：

“在爱情里，没有100%的情人，只有50%的你和50%的他。”

记得那个时候，有一个朋友问我，

“那你是觉得错的是他？”

“双方都有错吧。”

之后，我也不愿多说，朋友也了解，不再多问。

All of us have different perception, understanding and treatment of a matter.

Just because someone else does it that way doesn't necessarily mean I have to follow suit.

Do you even get what I am trying to say?

my wall!

that's a part of the wall in my room~

some time at the start of the year, i started printing photos from my photo shoots.

hello, it's not self obession okay!

it's called self admiration achievement!

somehow, i get the "power" to carry on when I see them.

behind each photo holds a memory.

say hello to my 3 eeyores.

2 are from poly mates and 1 was bought by me.

that's the amount of photos on my wall right now!

I can continue adding them all the way to the bottom provided that I have upcoming shoots.

and, when the photos hit the base, it means, I cannot keep a pet!

maybe a dog BUT must be toilet trained.

when this wall is filled, I have no idea where else to place.

i should probably start printing photos of my friends and me.

I've never printed photos of my family, let alone of my friends.

okay, time to do something~

while assisting shoots, i finished reading this:

a love novel.

I think I cannot watch sad romance movies or read love stories.

cos' i was actually tearing after reading Dear John.

It's really a good book.

I know I'm sadistic at times but, I am still human.

good thing the rest (photographers and model) were shooting away.

whew~

the hat belongs to Model Melissa.

I thought it was Mike's till Melissa took it for round 2.

oops~

& I think I need plastic surgery luhh.

I came across the strangest opening tagline yesterday while at adidas.

the first question asked was, 'ehh. broke already?' i was super confused with what he was saying,

thanks ah, J.

when I felt I grew fat, Model Bernice and candleghost told me,

"You lost weight!"

There's so much more, too. When I close my eyes, I see your face;

when I walk, it's almost as if I can feel your hand in mine. Those things are

still real to me, but where they once brought comfort, now they leave me with an ache.

I understood your reason for staying in the army, and I respected your decision. I still do, but we both know our relationship changed after that. We changed, and in your heart, I think you realised it, too. Maybe the time apart was too much, maybe it was just our different worlds.

I don't know. Every time we fought I hated myself for it.

Somehow, even though we still loved each other,

we lost that magical bond that kept us together.

complicated, sepang, being nice?

sometimes, I just help but go o.O at some things.

okay, people just love me being complicated instead of being plain single.

reason?

haha, i have no idea. perhaps, you can ask those who liked.

or maybe they themselves are complicated.

anyway, my day started off with calling people and asking them,

"you prefer HIV or nutrition obesity?"

all for radio.

sometimes, i just have to learn things the hard way.

well, an incident took place.

What should I say? Angry? Disappointment?

I learnt it.

When you're nice, people just take it for granted.

So i actually called model S and we talked about it.

for a very long time.

haha. my battery from full become only 2 bars left?

i'm one who rarely talks on the phone.

I'm more of msn or sms. probably the former.

i don't really enjoy sms-ing with touchscreen phone.

but hell, i have nearing 2k messages in my inbox.

deleted and again, it popped to 2k.

SIGHS.

as I was deleting sms-es, well, hmmm.

I had lots of feelings.

resentment, sadness, anger.

maybe when I delete till that particular period, it will be a repeat of feelings.

sometimes, life's just unfair.

can't really ask for much.

anyway, Singapore's getting too boring!

to the extent that I told yulin I want to go to Sepang Race Circuit and tour!

Costs RM50 only you know.

singapore?

USS- $62 weekdays. $70 weekends.

Sentosa- $3 for the beaches and well, sights. others, pay money.

Singapore zoo- $18.

Singapore flyer- student $10. non student $30.

so, any drivers with cars want to go to Sepang?

ok, i shall admit, I have a thing for fast cars and race tracks.

I can't take buses for god sake.

I've motion sickness.

which means, no cars, no buses and boats!

which is, why you always see me plugging in when i'm onboard all these.

anyway, have you caught the watch advert by Solvil et Titus?

I seldom see watch adverts in Singapore.

and one that is so nice!

唯有時間。讓愛。更了解愛

getting married?

Ann nyeong!

Firstly, I didn't get married luh.

like duh...

I just almost landed myself this wedding workshop.

remember me spamming your facebook walls asking who is 1.75m?

who is free on which date?

yes, i was looking for my 'groom' then.

HAHA.

ok, firstly, I was helping another model to find.

but because we couldn't get a suitable candidate, i was arrowed the job next.

then, i asked a lot of people.

i do have people who can fit the height criteria.

I had people emailing me as well to say they are interested.

thank you to all!

we even shortlisted the people already.

Then i decided to stalk my friend's facebook and saw this OMG guy.

and to think my friend told me, "all my friends tall but looks cmi."

no luh, i'm not blaming him.

but this OMG guy was freaking damn tall and super fit the bill like nothing else.

I went after my friend, pestering him to get in touch with this guy.

we were talking about it already.

i think the guy almost agreeeeeed

till...

Ehh, I never bluff you all okay.

Out of all the people I showed, all said, "WAH LAO. THIS ONE CALLED CUI AH?"

sighs.

a little too late. cos' they messaged and told me needed real couple!

URGH!

that guy really darn fitting for the bill can!

if you were to see his photo, you will sure go 'wahhhh' as well.

you want to see how he looks like?

i'm not gonna tell you!

it's a pity i don't know him directly.

hmmm, perhaps i should go pester my friend again. hehe.

ehhh, no, i'm not saying the rest who were shortlisted can't fit the bill.

But that guy was really fantastic!

ok luh, still many many thanks to all who agreed to be my 'groom'. =)

but sorry, in the end, they needed real couple.

hence, they placed me down for sports instead.

seriously, me in sports!?

yes, that's how my NUM thingy came about!

I'm not their ambassador.

But as I looked at all the photos, I couldn't help but feel happy.

the photos were really pretty!

should NUM consider getting me as their ambassador?

hahaha.

so, don't be mistaken okay?

I'm not their ambassador.

It was just a workshop and I happened to wear NUM's top.

I like all the photos.

asked for the photos immediately on the spot.

hence, all the RAW files.

self-edited fully.

don't blame me if they are poorly edited cos' it's my first time editing photos.

i swear.

but if you're still interested to see me in a wedding gown, here's one.

taken, i think 4 years back?

never mind. I will definitely have another chance for wedding shoots.

gahhhh.

but that guy really cute luhhhh.

so i'll still say my friend bluffed me.

i'm not lying okay.

that guy really OMG goddamn cute hunk!

ok luh. before anyone thinks I'm going crazy, i better stop here.

&he's a real cutie pie. :))

the past and the present

I have this disease called 'procrastination' within me.

I wanted to blog this post since 5pm.

and look at the time now, 10.48pm.

WOW.

anyway, it's the official start of YOG break!

a neat 3 weeks of break.

I hear people screaming~

I can't remember when was the last time I could stay at home and surf the net aimlessly.

it used to be at least having an assignment every week.

eating up my weekends.

BAHHHH.

but alright, i have 5 CAs due after this 3 weeks end.

shall start on them next week.

As I'm declaring today and tomorrow my official off day, I'm super

SUPER SUPER restless at home.

I just find it weird doing nothing.

to the extent I went to buy Her World to read.

Then I was thought, what was I really busy with?

I don't really have lots of activities daily.

At least, I'm not working. Cos' seeing Camellia and JQ going for their tuition classes

reminds me of working on weekends for RSH.

it was totally no time for rest.

Anyway, with all the national day rehearsals going on, I can't help but think of my

secondary school days. Where all of us had to stay till 7pm+ every CCA day for rehearsing.

return on weekends when NDP was drawing near.

When that was the case, I couldn't quite understand why I could still tell people,

"eh, let's go dinner after this." after long hours in school.

In poly, when people ask me, "ehh, today want go (insert location) not?"

My answer very standard, "Don't want luh. Tired."

Why am I so tired in poly and not in secondary school?

nothing to do with getting older okay!

In secondary school, I can sleep at 12plus, wake up at 6am the next but still,

have the energy within me.

But in poly, I sleep at 12plus 1, wake up at 6am or even later, I still feel darn tired.

I think it's because of lessons and projects.

I don't have this amount of homework back in secondary school.

In secondary school, CCA is indeed tiring but still, not as tiring as poly.

Gosh. project discussions can kill you.

meeting not for one or two hours.

can stretch till 4 or even 5 hours when deadlines are nearing.

In poly, one can definitely skip lectures and tutorials.

for whatever reason, work, overslept, meet boyf/girlf etc.

In secondary, you can't. produce MC they say.

Let me think, in poly, I have only skipped lectures and tutorials for one reason.

oversleeping.

not for casting.

not for work.

or any other.

cos' I find lessons are very important.

even if it means I will switch off in class,

I will still die die attend.

oh my.

how much have I changed over the years?

I should really go think about it.

my sister was just asking me that day,

"why do you have so many guy friends?"

Well, I do know many people.

Most of which are hi-bye friends.

True friends, I can really count them.

For guy friends,same thing. I do know many of them.

But those whom I can really talk to, not afraid of letting them know who I really am,

I only know that very few.

They know me because they want me as a friend. Nothing else.

These people, I can truly say, I can count the numbers with 1 hand.

Willing to listen to me, willing to give me advice, willing to be by my side whenever I need them.

These are my true friends.

Same thing, I will also be there for them.

I don't need to mention their names because I know who they are.

They too, know who they are.

In 2010, I lost a lot of things.

as in not physically.

Emotionally and mentally.

But in the process of losing them, I learnt a lot.

much more than expected.

should I be expecting year end?

cos' this is a very happening year. lots of things to blog about.

up till now, I still have no idea why I'm feeling a kind of pain within me.

anyway, I was reblogging at tumblr this afternoon and saw this post by another person.

my post sounds damn emotional.

so on a lighter note, I'm finally moving~

finally. a new location!

new environment.

my second home!

remember, under everyone's post post post,

i did my dream boyf/guy post?

right now, i will tell you, i have reviewed and edited it.

within myself.

I'm not gonna say it out. :)

oh, my 'i almost got married' has been scheduled to be out tomorrow.

I hope blogger works.

If you don't see it tomorrow, not my problem. HAHA.

I am on MC

second post of the day.

self edited as well.

This was one which I had a tough time editing. real tough.

anyway, am on MC today.

wanted to go for icmt tutorial today but Ms Dawn is sick as well. :(

after being sick for a week, I went to the doctor's yesterday.

finally.

didn't have much time. couldn't be on MC yesterday.

i always feel doctors scam people money.

I only decided to go when both Cam and JQ were down with sore throat.

apparently, they said, it was ME who passed it to them.

ok. whatever.

my body was rejecting all the food yesterday!

jq, cam and me went to fc 1 for lunch.

ordered western. fc1 is most famous for it.

okay luh, I know. sick still western?!

but when you go to a place which is famous for that food but yet you don't try,

isn't it a waste?

so I ate fish and chips.

and god.

I was tearing as I ate.

I coughed and coughed.

the tears just came out. :((

like so sad luh. eat and cry.

then ended event at 6pm or so.

ate some food there.

came home. visited doctor.

deciding to have some food or not.

only ate at 11pm+. cos' my medicine was after food.

and I kept coughing when I wanted to eat. :(

I was reading back on my blog posts.

For some posts, I went, "wow. is that me who posted that?"

I can't remember what I post you know.

As I read, I remembered all the past events which took place.

What angered me. What made me sad.

What made me different.

What made me who I am today.

such as this sentence,

"some people are worth your wait while some just aren't worth

you spending another second on them."

and this,

"也许我这辈子都不会学会爱一个人。"

I can't remember typing them till I read them.

and due to blogger's default settings, some of my posts could not be shown.

not that i deleted them. Is, they can't be shown.

went for Katy Perry on monday.

it was WOO LALA.

LOUD.

haha. and she is a terror for studio peeps I swear.

and a challenge for hosts.

she called kui jien a BIATCH.

O.O

3 weeks of YOG break, 5 deadlines.

I want to work.

But it's tough with dates taken up here and there. :(

anyone having those ad-hoc jobs?

urgh, money!

oh yes, having a headache planning a pending outing.

gosh. that's why I don't like thinking of where to go.

it kills my brain cells.

anyway, Camellia and I were on our way home yesterday and

Cam heard a little girl saying this:

Girl to daddy: "Daddy, these 2 girls pretty. I like."

LOL. Young kids these days are

JUST SO ADORABLE!

we are all equal.

It's a Green Love

Hello! This post is mainly about Green March a.k.a DMC YEAR 3 Final Year Project!

yes, our project was handed up yesterday, 4 August 2010.

After 5 months of meetings, we have completed everything.

From strangers to better acquaintances and friends!

An agency of 102 people.

WOW. how did we do that?

my team members and one of our mimes,Christel.

while sitting in the admin buidling, xinyi fished out two garlands and ta-da!

our props for photos!

somehow, keshia managed to find a watering can.

I like the garland a lot!

sakinah and me!

we are the sticky distributors!

along with Camellia!

and that's Laura!

so after the event, I grabbed Logesh for a photo as well!

with going green, how can we forget pretty Lady Gaia?

and of course, everyone's long awaited tribal men!

okay, I only had eugene for photo.

didn't manage to get the other guys.

and, why does eugene suddenly look so tall?!

hmmph.

If you didn't know, the tee which all of us wore is organic.

and haha. I have to agree, I look nice in jeans.
But i'm too lazy to wear them every morning.

We were first handed this project on 4th March, I think.

then we worked hard for our pitching, which took place on 30th April.

then we just worked our way through everything.

things did not go smoothly.

we had hiccups here and there.

change of lecturers,

change of details,

change of everything!

but the project remains the same.

and still the same, it's our FYP.

we've done it!

yessssss.

it's a different FYP because for everyone else,

your group consists of only 8 people or so?

ours had around 12 per team.

the agency consisted of 102 people.

yes, 102 people working on one project.

when you people had your own theme to do,

we couldn't choose.

We were given.

I still remember, in year 1, we were saying in year 3, we will come up with a

smoking related campaign.

such as creating a box and locking all the smokers inside.

truth be told, I don't really like smokers.

But then year 3, we are all on going green!

okay, better go do my assignment. something against the smokers.

Hair colour

Firstly, kindly click on the nuffnang advert on your left. :))

thank you very much!

It's a sunday afternoon. I promised to let you know how I got my previous hair colour. I just re-dyed today. :D

some people have been telling me my hair colour is very nice and asked what colour is it?

so let me start with the start of the year.

I started out with dark brown hair with slightly gold streaks in it.

then in January, I bought Beauteen's Natural Brown.

BUT, the amount was only for short length hair. so, i only managed to dye half of my hair.

the very next day, I bought Liese's Ash Brown and dyed it.

very harmful. but I couldn't stand my head being only half dyed.

In end march/early april, I dyed it to Liese's Dark Chocolat.

And somehow, I have no idea why, it became the colour shown in the 2 pictures.

doesn't look dark right?

I wash my hair everyday and blow dry it almost everyday.

So does that help as a reason why it became so bright?

so today, it is Dark Chocolat. But not long after, i swear it will change again.

NATURALLY.

cos' when you wash, the colour comes off and etc.

plus the sunlight.

Now, here are some tips from the girl who always dyes her hair:

#1) If you're afraid your hair will be damaged/already in a bad condition yet want to dye, do treatment 2 weeks prior to dyeing. Twice per week.

#2) After dyeing, wait for at least 24hours before washing your hair again. Make sure the water isn't hot. Warm is alright. If you use hot water, it damages your hair colour.

#3) If you want to dye and perm/rebond or whatever, give it at least a 3 days gap. If your hair is in a real bad condition, 1 week.

#4) Go to the salon at least once every 2 months for hair treatment. OR else, home treatments will do. Conditioner luh! If you're afraid pimples/spots will appear on your back, use a shower cap. I condition my hair everyday.

#5) Light colours are nice but you must take good care of it. Because the UV rays from the sun will cause the hair colour to change. The lighter the colour, the more prone it is to damage. Take note.

#6) Red hair colour. I used to have this colour. But it is high maintenance. The colour RUNS super fast. So i recommend you not to, unless you are one who can really spend loads maintaining it.

#7) If you hate those black roots, here are two options. Choose a colour close to your natural colour OR dye it every 3 months. Don't do it too frequently, it damages your hair.

any questions? :D

***

I am a lil out of my mind. Fancy me dyeing my hair when I'm coughing badly.

But good thing I'm so much better than yesterday. I was sleeping on a hot saturday afternoon with a blanket w/o switching on the fans and had my windows tightly shut.

my mum thought what was wrong with me.

Okay luh, gotta go do my writing again on this smoking control campaign by HPB.

HPB again!

When I was working as BA, there was this guy who took out his cigg to smoke. Then he decided to share it and passed one cigg to salesman, one to my partner and one to me. hmmm.

3 weeks of YOG break, what's in store for me/DMC peeps?

- Radio Production CA3. produce radio show.

- Press conference for PUB + NEA. The flooding.

- CIBM CA3. Brand extension.

- Broadcast Journalism CA3*.

- FYP self reflection.

& Hopefully I have time to meet a very important person. Ok, maybe not that important. But whatever. I hope I have the time.

I hope my update has been enough these days. Because, I forsee I'm gonna disappear again. HAHA.

next week, I promise I will blog about my "I almost got married". :D

Have you clicked on my nuffnang advert on your left?